Vulnerability (By Amanda Hanna)

There is no one that is completely removed from the fear of rejection. Much of what we do in life is in efforts of achieving normality. We want to grow up to fit into society and become accepted members of it. Once in a while, we feel detached from people around us. Trouble communicating thoughts and feelings causes a sense of isolation and even weakness. What do we do when we can’t tell the people closest to us how we feel? What can we say to an individual that will allow us to illustrate our fears and desires?

This question possesses many answers. There is no “correct” way of releasing the anxiety of fear. Before people start seeking out drastic measures to have an outlet, one must sort out their thoughts. Once someone comes to terms with their personal issues, they can then begin to turn to others for guidance or even just comfort. It helps a lot to talk to someone who you aren’t totally close with. When you are at ease with someone, or have a distant relationship with them then it is somewhat simple to treat them like the recycling bin of your thoughts.

Certain people have a hard time relaying emotions to people they care most about because people they care most about, they want to have remain in their lives. Of course, there is nothing worse than having the people you love turn away from you because they cannot relate to you. In the same sense that having a therapist is emotionally cathartic, so is talking to someone you have an impersonal relationship to.

Maybe it won’t serve much of a helping hand in solving your issues, but it will give you an outlook on how people will respond to what you say. Once you are aware of people’s potential reaction, you may be able to muster the confidence to approach the people you have invested the most emotion in.

Talking out or writing out how you feel does make you vulnerable. It is figuratively stripping all the layers of your soul  to reveal the unique problems you face. But talking things through can become a God send when you are at the brink of losing your mind.

October 1, 2011 (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA)

-I am still sore from my workout 3 days ago WTF -thats how you know shit was intense.
-There's absolutely no way that I'm going to stop working out now.  I workout with my roommate religiously like my life depended on it sometimes and he's not stopping until he gains his 20lbs of muscle back so you know I'm not stopping either.
-I am currently being somehow motivated by my "situation" and its kinda weird but ill take it.
-Sometimes you have to look at things from a different point of view.  Yes sometimes things don't happen the way I want them too but at that point I just gotta suck it up.  I realize that I cannot count on ANYONE for anything.   That especially means I can't let my happiness be influenced by anything/anyone.  I'm moving on and I'm working with what I got and most importantly I'm working on making myself better as a person.  I love myself more than anyone else and I'm going to out there and do exactly what I want.  I always felt like I was holding myself back and ever since I stopped I'm starting to see results. I've stopped worrying about the things I can't control and I'm focused on what I CAN control.  Every once in a while I'll catch myself doing silly things like letting things from the PAST affect me, but I always catch myself and that's deffinitely an improvement.  I used to always think about "what-if" but now I'm starting to think "how can I." And one more thing, I can totally go for a chicken burrito bowl at Chipotle right now. ;)
-Holy shit I gotta start working again.
-I still do not feel financially secure and I probably never will until 2013 when I'm most likely running my own office if I'm still feeling up to it.
-I always had that tight cash flow so I have my spending habits in check but In my opinion a FAR better idea (for me at the moment) is to spend first, and then worry about how to afford later (moderately of course). Always pay yourself first ;).  At least then your motivated to make money.  Cause I realize that now, my spendiing habits include spending almost nothing.  So therefore I am not motivated to MAKE money.  Let's try this for a bit and see where it gets me. hehe.
-I feel like this management training will DEFFINITELY pay off in the future.  It's just one of those things that at times FEEL forced but later on you realize that it did you alot of good.  Kinda like how I was forced to go to UCVTS instead of going to UHS where all my friends where.
-Black people are really funny.
-I don't know exactly what it is but there is something about them, some kind of characteristic, that makes interacting with them REALLY funny.  I'm lovin' it.
-It's my mom's birthday
-She turns 39 today and I'm sure she's overJOYED at almost being 40.  Imma have to bust her chops when she gets back from Ecuador.  She left because my Great-grandmother passed away so she had to support the family.  BUT its good for her because all of her best friends are over there and I'm glad that she at least gets to spend her birthday with them since she hasn't seen them in like 4 years.  I love that woman to death and even though she can be a pain, and immature, and she nags sometimes, she does it for a REASON because that woman is fucking intelligent and she definitely keeps that mind on the DL because she is surprising sometimes.  And you wouldn't believe how SUPPORTIVE she is with all the stuff I heard her and my dad went through.  Definition of a good woman/wife/mother right there.  YOU DA BEST!
I'm eating ice cream right now and I'm thinking about how much I miss driving so the first thing I'm going to do when I get home (because I've been at my sister's godparents house for the past 3 hours) is take the car and go crusin' for a little bit.  I'd like to feel the breeze on my face again.  I miss that feeling.  And all those radio songs that are on replay.  Oh man they better have switched it up by now its been a long one and a half months!!

B*tchiness in Women

We all know the classic bitches: the women that have absolutely no filter and speak their minds like its their job.  The women you might want to stay away from during PMS.  The one's that can destroy any self-esteem you might have if you even as much as THINK of hitting on them.  It's probably comforting for you to think that she's just a bad person.

Apparently it's been scientifically proven that genes cause women to be bitchy!  

WOAH.  Hold up.  So you're saying that women are born "bitchy?"

That is exactly what I am saying.  Scientific research has proven that bitchiness is indeed programmed into women genes, and the good news is that not every women possesses it!....though you may have already known that.  

But why is bitchiness even programmed into genes?  I believe it all comes down to survival of the fittest like almost everything.  Women who portray bitchiness usually are very strong minded, a personality trait that can be perceived as confidence.  Confidence is very sexy to both genders, which also explains why "nice guys finish last" is true.  A strong and confident demeanor is considered VERY attractive and those who portray it end up reproducing more often that not.  

Going back to my topic, if anythng...you should learn how to deal with this type of behavior. 

What you need to understand is that sometimes to mitigate all this bitchiness the woman needs to have her way.  Once you accept that you also have to accept the fact that NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO....women can sometimes be bitches for no reason... JUST ACCEPT IT.  Other than that, do little things that you know will make them happy.  Bitchiness can turn into happiness in 5 seconds but be careful because the opposite is also true.